Employment Fits & Glitches

Have you ever listed all the things that can go wrong in a job search? Chances run high you have not. If you listed everything, you might have a royal fit, crawl back in bed and pull the covers over your head.
Résumé writers often catch heat for a wide assortment failed job searches. In most situations, those failed searches venture into areas beyond their control. What follows are a few job-search givens, some of which may surprise you.
The first 11 items are those employers can easily spot—usually during an initial flash read of the résumé. Flash reads rarely take more than 15 seconds. The remaining seven surface during an interview or crop up during cursory background checks.
1.      Spotty record of employment: This is sometimes referred to as hopscotch employment, where the jobseeker appears to have bounced from one position to another like a Ping-Pong ball. Naturally, the jobseeker promotes himself as the Jack-Of-All-Trades.
2.      Short periods of employment: Employers routinely scan employment durations. Job candi­dates who cannot hold employment for longer than a year are often viewed as unstable and/or unreliable. Those jobseekers routinely attempt to project a rock-solid image.
3.      Unrecognizable employer(s): To camouflage bad employment, many jobseekers resort to declaring themselves consultants with fabricated or out-of-business companies that are next to impossible to trace. While some think this is a clever and original idea—it’s far from it.
4.      Nondescript positions:  Anytime an employer glances at a job title as says, “Say what?” the candidate falls into instant trouble. Esoteric titles unique to a specific organization often get dismissed because the recipient reader has no idea what the title means.
5.      Lack of degree or lack of appropriate degree: Many positions require a degree as a matter of company policy. In some situations, a degree may be required as a matter of state laws. Either way, it becomes mission impossible to do an end-run around built-in restrictions.
·         Certain senior-level positions require degrees from prestigious colleges and universities. Employers usually avoid advertising such hidden agenda.
6.      Excessive commute: Not to belabor statistics, but it is a fact that job applicants who have to commute more than 45 minutes each way, will not stay. Experienced employers know this, and that statistical fact is always taken into consideration. (Relocation is a different matter.)
7.      Lack of relevant experience: There exists an untold mass of jobseekers who respond to any­thing and everything—relevancy be damned. All major employers routinely encounter this phenomenon. Within nanoseconds, these résumés get discarded.
8.      Vague or overly general résumé: Jobseekers who want to remain flexible resort to odd things; however, there is a tradeoff for that. Rather than speak in specifics, they resort to vagueness and generalities. Savvy employers won’t fall for it. –That’s the tradeoff.
9.      Verbose and/or overly lengthy résumé: Most résumés—even technical ones—will range somewhere between one and three pages depending on several factors. Venture beyond three screens and readership interest plummets rapidly—as in falling off a cliff speed.
10.  Internet unfriendly résumé: Just because someone sends something over the Internet, it does not de facto qualify as Internet friendly. While most employers will have sophisticated soft­ware, they rarely take the time to decode esoteric materials that do not open easily.
11.  Unreadable or confusing résumé: Any halfway decent résumé writer should be able to spot this. For those who prepare their own material—not so much. We do not read our own material the same as strangers. In short, what may be clear to the creator may be unclear to others.
Other common glitches:
1.      Bad credit history or credit history mismatch: Jobseekers simply forget to scrutinize their credit reports for correctable errors and inconsistencies. Caulk it up to being too busy, too time consuming or whatever, but most won’t walk the extra steps. Go ahead; curse the darkness.
2.      Bad driving record: This is one of those HR chores routinely performed. Too many moving violations are strong indicates of irrational behavior patterns many employers prefer to avoid. If you drive with one of those special license plates, you are automatically in deep do-do.
3.      Too many court appearances: Employers have access to public court documents. Make too many court appearances for whatever reason(s) can sink a hot candidate prospects. Most employers won’t read on if they noticed the individual suited a former employer.
4.      Serious health issues: Legally, one’s health statue is supposed to be highly confidential. Ha! Go to work for an insurance company, sensitive government position or medical facility and you will discover a host of exceptions to the term confidentiality.
5.      Physical appearance: Socially, and perhaps ethically, one’s physical appearance should not enter into the selection process, but it does. This goes double for high-profile positions and positions that reflect the corporate image. Do your best to look great.
6.      LinkedIn profile: Most LinkedIn profiles qualify as bland to matter-of-fact. Employers often glance at them to gauge consistency, number of endorsements, and peek at how you appear in public. Leave your picture off, and they usually suspect the worst—an easy fix.
7.      Terrible interviewing skills: Forget the statistics—they are exceptionally bad. Half of those who interview poorly honestly believe the opposite. The balance seems to know they interview poorly, but do nothing to correct the deficiency. Go figure.
Even a gorgeous résumé cannot remedy these last set of employment glitches. Best advice is to correct the deficiencies, and minimize the rest. As Clint Eastwood might quip, “Know your limitations and proceed from there.”