Cover Letter Madness - Mythology

Somewhere, embedded in the annals of cover-letter madness, job seekers continue to embrace the notion that employment decision makers have Mandarin time on their idle hands. Aside from legal correspondence, those individuals rarely take time to study your emailed cover letters.

Job seekers to continue entertain baffling notions to the contrary. Their subliminal motivating behaviors can be traced to deep-seeded fears, self-serving envy or simply grief avoidance. Every time we make major decisions (and seeking employment is no exception), our behaviors can be linked to underlying motivations.

To illustrate, we will focus on emailed job cover letters. The five-step process is mindlessly simple. Enter recipient’s email address, state subject, write cover, attach résumé, and press send. Short of mental telepathy, it is hard to imagine something simpler.

Complications arise when individuals have too many options.

(1) What about omitting the cover?

(2) If a cover is included, how long should it be?

(3) Should my unique situation be explained?

(4) What about recapping my life’s exciting story?

(5) Should I incorporate all the right buzzwords in the cover?

It is not prudent to omit a cover letter. At minimum, you need to indicate why you established contact. Beyond that, covers can become fuzzy.

As for overall length, 45 words (that is four sound bytes) is a solid benchmark. Anything longer and you risk stating something that will irritate the unknown recipient.

For those using short covers, the motivating factor is usually based on grief avoidance. To avoid mistakes—be that grammatical or saying too much, the simple solution is to avoid these potential headaches. This is grounded in belief that the less one writes, the less one has to remember or defend. In either case, the job seeker has managed to avoid a potential grief situation.

Options three through five inevitably require several paragraphs. In the third and fourth option, job seekers have an overwhelming compulsion to explain their unique situations. With these types of job seekers, a combination of embedded fears and grief seem to be overriding factors.

Their perception is that the recipient will not appreciate their predicament without knowing all the details. Hence, those individuals have a tendency to rationalize and explain things. Any time a candidate resorts to explaining anything in email covers it takes up space and devours time. 

At the bottom of this continuum, there are job seekers motivated by envy. Those steeped with envy tend to be extraordinarily difficult. No amount of rhyme or reason filters through. In their quest to succeed, they will go to whatever lengths deemed necessary. Thus, to gain a perceived advantage over others, they know no bounds. It should come as no surprise that their covers will be lengthy.

About 20 years ago, I began hearing senior managers grouse about the amount of time they spent plowing through lengthy cover letters. Fast forward to 2012. Today, rather than opening envelopes, the process involves opening emails. What follows represents this year’s ten candid retorts on the cover-letter topic.

 "Personally, I don't have time to read lengthy emails."

"If they start telling me what should be in the résumé, I stop reading."

"I'll read the opening paragraph, and that's it."

"All I want to know is why they contacted me and what do they want. Beyond that, I'm not interested."

"If the cover is too long, the individual probably doesn't think my time is valuable. Well poop on them."

"I never read cover letters anymore. Most are self-serving and redundant. It’s a waste of time."

“I avoid reading cover letters. This helps me avoid forming a bad first impression.”

"I read cover letters for mistakes. After the second or third typo or grammatical error, I’ve read enough and toss it all out."

"If they tell me something interesting, I'll read it. But that rarely happens."

"I only have time to read short ones."

It is time to challenge your mental acumen with a little role-playing. Suppose you are a busy executive. How would you react if you received a couple hundred lengthy emails each time you posted a job opening? Which of the above statements apply to you?

Now, write your next cover letter in 45 words or less. Sans excuses and explaining, state what has to be said and move on. 

Cover Letter Madness

There are more horror stories out there than one is permitted to cover. You may enjoy this one, as it illustrates the real-time reality many job seekers will confront. Keep it in mind when you are planning to conduct an effective job search.

The wife and I are sitting at the kitchen table having breakfast, while watching Morning Joe broadcast. Her corporate-issued Blackberry buzzes. Job seekers have been emailing her on recently posted openings.

I observe her scanning the emails. She selects the ones that appear relevant, and opens those first. The subject line indicates the email’s topic. In one-two-three order, she scan-reads the emails, and then flags those she plans to review once she gets to the office.

Two quick asides: I do not personally own a Blackberry, and my wife’s unit is issued to her through Advance Publications. She oversees 11 of their most profitable publications, and she is directly linked to the Information Age.

I glanced over her shoulder and asked, “How many words can you read on that small screen?”

She responds with, “I don’t know, but I don’t have time to count them. Here, you do it. I have to get ready.”

With that, she handed me the Blackberry. I proceeded to count the words viable on the screen. As suspected, the average word-count was 45, which are exactly three sound bites. Within nanoseconds, several conclusions were drawn.

First, my wife is not the only executive using current technology to process information and making quick employment decisions.

Second, she is not the only executive functioning on a tight time schedule.

Third, as a busy executive, she does not have time to read the long-winded cover letters. Those that exceeded available screen text were skipped. Worse, those that were not flagged for follow-up meant their attached documents (in this case, résumé) had a reduced chance of being read.

One of the emails she decided not to open read as follows:

Hi Linda,

I recently seen an opportunity with your organization that would allow me to utilize my experience and education. I have attached to this email my cover letter, clips and also my resume. Thank you for you consideration I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Be well,

(Name omitted)

For a reporter’s position, the typos were a turnoff. The fact that the cover letter was all about him did nothing to motivate her interest. To add insult to injury, he was including an additional cover letter. She felt she had read enough to reach a decision.

Let us assume for the moment, you are an active job seeker. What might you reasonably conclude from the foregoing information? If you are telling yourself that I need to say a lot in a few words, you are among those who are ready to proceed.

In drafting an email cover letter, stay on message. My formula is to a) grab the reader’s attention, b) state what you can do, or pose a unique question, and c) request an interview. Create a cover letter with 45 words or less and the odds are with you. Your interviewing odds plummet like a falling brick as you exceed that amount.

Here is an illustration on how the “Be well” job candidate would have had his email attachments opened:

Dear Ms. Kinsey:

Your wonderful opportunity for a reporter sounds exciting and challenging. If you desire to schedule an interview, you will not be disappointed. Feel free to contact me at your convenience at 555.1212.

Thank you,

Food for thought: The transition from “it is all about me, my and I” to a you and your tenor email creates a difference awareness. Naturally, eliminating typos will not hurt either.

Cover letters

Best advice is to keep your cover letters short. Busy employers do not have time to read long-winded blither. Hence, keep it to three or four short sentences. If you need a formula to get started, consider the following:

Dear (insert individual's name or job title):


a) In one sentence, tell employer why you've contacted them. b) Request what it is you want, or would like them to do (i.e. review the attached résumé). c) Close by requesting to schedule an interview.


Sincerely,


Your Name

Say too much, you risk sending the signal that you are a time waster.  Shakespeare put it best, "Brevity is the sole of wit." Try keeping that sage motto in mind.

If possible, avoid using first-person pronouns (I, me, my and myself). Focus on you and your. It is okay to replace one of the yours with the employer's name.

Finally, to the extent possible--customize! Never used dribble such as: To Whom It May Concern, or Dear Sir/Madam. When a contact name is provided, use it. If they failed to provide a contact name, look one up online. Even if you do not reach the right individual, it signals them that you made an effort. When you don't you that, you label yourself as one of the super-lazies.