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I created this Orwellian
expression to address the disconnect
between jobseekers and hiring decision makers. Job-hunting is a lot like learning
a foreign language: A few grasp employer
job speak right away, while others struggle. For the rest, it becomes a sojourn
into linguistics fantasyland.
Suppose one day, you were suddenly
plucked from your familiar surroundings, and abruptly transported into a
foreign environment. You stop the first person, and ask for assistance. The
individual smiles politely, shrug his shoulders, babbles something you do not comprehend,
and walks away.
As this scenario repeats itself,
you conclude you need to be more proactive. Beyond pointing and gesturing, your
ability to communicate is limited. You are unable to speak in the language. Your
options: Either learn the native language quickly, or find someone who can
translate.
Now overlay that bizarre scenario
with seeking employment. You suddenly find yourself in need of a new job. (Reasons vary.) Your familiar
surroundings have been seriously disrupted. You are either upset, baffled or
frustrated. Probably a combination of all three.
No one you encounter seems to appreciate
your predicament, or the individual simply has his own problems, and unable to
offer assistance. You feel you are getting the fast shuffle. Somewhere along this job-seeking continuum, you
realize you need a translator—someone
who can interpret what you can do into something an employer might understand.
We live in an Orwellian job
market. Those who know employer speak
get hired ten times faster than those who do not speak their vernacular.
Oh-yes, there exists a communication barrier between most jobseekers and
employers. When this occurs, it is not a Kumbaya
experience.
Here are some of the disconnect dichotomies
between what jobseekers want and how employers
often decipher them.
·
The jobseeker believes he/she needs to present
his/her entire work history—even the irrelevant. Translation: How much of this do I have to suffer? Should I waste
time analyzing this? (Usually, if they
want an expanded version, they request it.)
·
The jobseeker needs to pay bills with enough
discretionary funds to enjoy life. Translation:
Okay, I can solve your problem. Can you solve ours? If not—next!
·
The jobseeker has a unique situation that needs
to be explain. Translation: I do not
have time for your unique problems, nor am I interested. I have my own to deal
with.
·
The jobseeker claims he/she can do anything. Translation: Where have I heard that
before? How will this make us money, save us money, or solve our problem(s)? If
you cannot do that, go bug someone else.
·
The jobseeker feels a need to find a rewarding
and fulfilling career. Translation: That’s
nice to know, but why are you burdening me with this? Keep looking. Next.
To be sure, the list of
translations can be expansive, but you get the idea. The message sent is not always
translated as the jobseeker intended. Something inevitably gets lost in
Yonkers. Wandering the windy and lonely streets to employment can get downright
frustrating.
A decent translator (or résumé writer) should be able to
bridge many communication gaps that coexist between ambitious jobseekers and
what employers want to know. Rightly or otherwise, employers see their time as
valuable. If that does not translate—you are wasting their time.