I’ll be the first to
confess my ignorance about equestrian behaviors. My specialty is human
behaviors—especially in times of emotional employment crisis. If there’s any
similarity between horse and human behaviors, it’s that both often retreat to
their comfort zones when confronting disaster.
Harold’s job hunting methods
might serve as an example. I do not know Harold on a personal level, but
through acquaintances. I’ve encountered him on occasion over the last 10 years.
The little I know about him is that he’s highly opinionated, takes pride in
knowing everything on every subject, and stubbornly manages to always have the
last word. We maintain mutual degrees of separation.
Upon learning I was a
résumé writer, Harold approached to offer his unsolicited opinion, “So you’re
one of those do-gooders who goes around helping poor slobs and the lazy unemployed
find work: How interesting.”
To correct his
misperception, I informed him, “Ninety-five percent of my clientele are gainfully
employed and probably not poor given my pricing schedule.”
True to his reputation, he
squeezed in, “Anyone who wants to work can get a job on his own.” As he walked
away, he added, “Only a horse’s ass would use such a worthless service.”
That day forward, the few
happenstance encounters occurred in coffee shops. Harold found opportunities to
voice his favorite mantra, “Only lazy asses can’t find work, so you should be
terribly busy these days.”
Harold held simplistic
views. Every problem had a quick-fix solution. From any distance, he could be
overheard voicing an opinion on every topic. He maintained a strong belief that
unemployment was due solely to laziness, poor work ethic or stupidity.
I wasn’t there when it
happened, but through acquaintances, learned that tell-it-like-it-is Harold
lost his job of 20-plus years. Apparently, it came without warning. Rumors
circulated that it was the first time in anyone’s recent memory that Harold didn’t
cough up a smart-ass remark. After his dismissal, some thought he was too flabbergasted
to offer a sarcastic quip.
Not unlike a horse running
back to his stall while the barn burns, Harold retreated to where he felt safe.
He returned to what he had done 20 years younger, comforted by the notion that
what had worked before the digital age would surly work again in today’s automated
job market.
As an authentic do-it-yourselfer, Harold
is not prone to soliciting advice on anything from anyone. Upon learning of his
predicament, mutual acquaintances suggested he schedule an appointment.
Harold threw one of his renown
diatribes. He rejected what he considered their worthless advice. He boasted he
would have his next job inside a week or two, and well before his unneeded
unemployment vouchers kicked in.
Oh how the self-righteous do fall. For several weeks,
Harold managed to keep up a façade. He bragged about all the solid job leads he
had responded to, but as time passed, those opportunities had slipped away. No one
contacted him. He rationalized his circumstances by announcing that he was obviously
too overqualified.
Now that he had identified
what he believed to be the real problem, all he had to do was play down his expansive
accomplishments. Once again, he had identified a quick-fix solution—albeit one
he had yet to validate.
Those methods he had used in
his youth simply had to be replicated. Another quick-fix solution. All he
needed now was to generate a few decent interviews, which to his chagrin, had not
materialized. The weeks crept into months, and his unemployment checks were scheduled
to end.
Through friends, I was
kept abreast of Harold’s progress, or lack thereof. They mentioned their growing
concerns: He was isolating himself and showing signs of depression. One individual
casually suggested I should offer him my services, and was taken aback when—not
unlike disinterested employers—I expressed no interest.
I informed the individual that
Harold was hopelessly struck in his past. The world of interactive résumés, network
job hunting and dynamic interviewing have drastically changed, but Harold had not.
Sure, any horse can lead to fresh water, but no one can make a stubborn horse drink
it.
Copyrighted © 2016 by
Robert James