Ever wondered how some
individuals effortlessly glide through the job market and their careers, while
others bang their heads hopelessly as they attempt
to navigate the employment maze? It could have something to do with the
individual’s EQ.
I initially encountered EQ
(emotional quotient) while completing a Masters. At the time, I didn’t
instantly connect the correlation between one’s EQ and the ability to navigate
the job market.
Emotional intelligence amounts
to one’s ability to read and understand
others and then react appropriately. Some experts claim one’s EQ is more
important than IQ. (A strong case can be
made for that as well.) Dr. Travis Bradberry, president of TalentSmart,
wrote an article on the topic.
To offer a simplified interpretation, there are
several subsets to one’s EQ (self-awareness,
self-regulation, self-motivation, empathy
and social skills). These categories address
one’s emotional competencies, such as the ability to recognize one’s sense of
self-worth, control impulses, adapt to changing situations, strive for
excellence, anticipate the needs of others, persuade others effectively and so
on.
What characteristics
do high EQ achievers emulate that others do not? Dr, Bradberry identifies 13
behavioral issues high EQ holders consciously avoid. I have borrowed 12 of them
to illustrate how these behaviors manifest themselves as a job seeker enters
the marketplace.
·
High EQs do not stay in their comfort zone.
As creatures of
habit, the less successful job seekers strive hard to stay within their comfort
zone. They resist pushing themselves or perfecting their self-awareness. In
doing so, they inadvertently remain in a mental box, which in turn limits their
potential to achieve greater things or accomplish higher career goals.
·
High EQs do not
give in to fear.
I could write a doctoral
thesis on this topic. Interview a few thousand job seekers and you’ll uncover volumes
of irrational fears. Limited space does not permit covering them all, but from a
job perspective, the top ones include fearing their shortcomings and lies will
be exposed (probably shouldn’t have lied
in the first place), and the fear of participating in live job interviews.
Irrational fear
as an entity qualifies as a mental illness. But even in lesser forms, fear
tends to be overpowering. The convoluted things people perform out of fear
boggling rational minds. To illustrate, I’ve actually encountered job seekers
who wanted to respond to blind ads while conducting their job searches en cognition—as
in they didn’t want employers to know who they were or be able to find them.
It’s hard to imagine getting more fearful than that.
·
High EQs do not stop believing in themselves.
I’ve yet to encounter a single successful job seeker who stopped
believing in himself or his abilities. That’s because they endeavor to
persevere even in the face of poor odds and temporary setbacks. They use
failures as learning opportunities.
The flip side presents a different
scenario. For individuals with low EQs, even a small career setback constitutes
grounds for giving up. They will often listen to like-minded naysayers who
advise them to proceed cautiously or
predict imaginary gloom and doom.
·
High EQs do not pander for
attention.
Those who beg or pander for
attention are usually in search of their self-identity
and lack self-esteem. The high EQ individuals do not search for ego boosts.
·
High EQs do not act like jerks.
Jerks are insecure to a fault,
and act out accordingly. High EQ people
value their relationships and treat others
fairly regardless of their mood.
·
High EQs do not
hold grudges.
The higher one’s stress levels,
the more inclined the individual will cling to a grudge. Stress—by
itself—wreaks havoc with one’s immune system and
is a known contributor to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto
grudges ensures continued elevated stress. The grudge turns into a psychological
anchor: As such, the job seeker cannot move forward. Those with high EQs avoid
this.
·
High EQs avoid associating with
negative people.
Negative individuals wallow in their own misery
and tenaciously share their misery with others. They focus solely on their problems but avoid solutions.
High EQ individuals avoid getting
sucked into this negative emotional spiral by setting limits and distancing
themselves from negative people.
·
High EQs do not feel sorry for
themselves.
Probably the easiest thing to do
is feel sorry for oneself. With only the slightest effort, it migrates into a
self-fulfilling prophecy. Once that
becomes engrained into the psyche, the individual gets to declare himself a
helpless victim. (We’re all supposed to
feel sorry for helpless victims—right! I wonder if that includes self-inflicted injuries as well?)
·
High EQs do not feel entitled.
If you believe in meritocracy,
you only deserve those things you’ve earned. Those with low EQs believe they
are being cheated whenever they don’t receive
their fair share even when they haven’t exerted the effort to earned it. True
success is something one earns—it is not something one is entitle to by
default.
·
High EQs do not close their
minds.
Those who feel threatened often
resort to closing their minds. New information, as well as the opinions of others,
get blocked out or ignored.
Maintaining a closed mind actually requires a concerted effort, which infers a
lot of wasted time gets invested in preserving one’s ignorance. An individual
with a low EQ is never wrong, or at the very least will never admit to it. When
failure is never admitted, there’s nothing to change.
High EQ individuals are not threatened
by progress, new ideas or information. They will admit to self-ignorance and
when they’ve been wrong. They see themselves as work-in-progress and improve as
they go.
·
High EQs are not consumed by
jealousy and envy.
Jealousy and envy are two wasted emotions
that are difficult to disguise. These emotions
manifest themselves in many ways. Skilled job interviewers can easily penetrate
a job seeker’s flimsy façade with a series of simple, “How do you feel about …
(this or that)” probing questions.
Those with high
EQs have no difficulty celebrating the success of others, and that’s the way it
comes across during job interviews.
·
High EQs do not
live in the past.
Having written résumés for
thousands, I have encountered a fair share of
those job seekers living in the past. No amount of sage advice or magic words
will jolt them into today’s employment reality. Fearing failure—often the
result of never taking risks—they mentally reside in the past as if it were a sacred
duty or perhaps buried treasure.
The secret, of
course, amounts to living in the present. Accept those things one cannot
change. Change those things that will help you move forward. Naturally, it
helps if you can figure out the difference.
Copyrighted © 2016 by Robert James